"It's my belief, that inside of us lies a little piece of Heaven in Disguise"

My Reviews

My Favorite Albums of All-Time

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Do I Trust The Critics or the Smurfs?

Best Movies In Cinemas Now:
Contagion. Crazy Stupid Love. I Saw The Devil. Tree of Life.

Decent Flicks Worth A Ticket:
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Fright Night. Chalet Girl.

Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You But Oops You’ve Already Gotten A Ticket So:
The Smurfs. I Don’t Know How She Does It. A Little Bit of Heaven. Abduction. Johnny English:Reborn.


Hollywood Forecast: Upcoming Movies Announced

This is a forecast of upcoming movies that Hollywood has greenlit and we’d expect them in theatres within the next 5 years.
There might be changes on the release dates, but apart from minor alterations, this list is pretty legit.
Take out the sequels and remakes and you’d have…nothing
Excited nonetheless.

79

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey [2012]
The Hobbit: There & Back Again [2013]
The Avengers [2012]
Brave [2012]
Battleship [2012]
Star Trek 2 [2012]
The Amazing Spiderman [2012]
The Dark Knight Rises [2012]
American Pie 4: Reunion [2012]
Frankenweenie [2012]
Halloween III [2012]
Hellraiser [2012]
Poltergeist [2013]
Happy Feet Two [2011]
Silent Hill 2: Revelation 3D [2012]
Resident Evil 5: Retribution [2012]
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance [2012]
Hansel & Gretle: Witch Hunters [2012]
Clash of the Titans 2 [2012]
Total Recall [2012]
Emily The Strange [2012]
Iron Man 3 [2013]
Superman: Man of Steel [2013]
The Fast & The Furious 6 [2013]
Despicable Me 2 [2013]
Thor 2 [2013]
Mortal Kombat [2013]
Justice League: Mortal [2013]
Austin Powers 4  [2013]
Aquaman [2013]
The Fantastic Four [2013]
Green Lantern II [2013]
Bioshock [2013]
Infamous [2013]
Bizarro Superman [2013]
Warcraft [2013]
Halo [2013]
Metal Gear Solid [2014]
Robocop [2013]
Die Hard 5 [2012]
G.I Joe 2: Retaliation [2012]
Ghostbusters II [2012]
The Wolverine [2013]
Godzilla [2013]
Dead Pool  [2014]
Ice Man [2014]
Wonder Woman [2013]
The Birds [2013]
The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence [2011]
The Human Centipede III: Final Sequence [2013]
Bond 23 [2012]
Indiana Jones 5 [2013]
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew [2014]
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair [2015]
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. I [2011]
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. II [2012]
Men In Black III [2012]
The Hangover III [2014]
Jumper 2 [2012]
Alvin & The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked  [2011]
Scary Movie 5 [2012]
Kick-Ass 2: Balls To The Wall  [2013]
Bad Boys III [2015]
Beverley Hills Cop IV [2014]
300: Battle of Artemesia  [2013]
Cloverfield 2 [2014]
The Departed 2 [2012]
Blade Runner [2014]
Get Smart 2 [2012]
Hostel Pt.III  [2011
Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol [2011]
Paranormal Activity 3 [2011]
Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Nights [2012]
The Strangers 2 [2012]
The Evil Dead [2013]
Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral [2012]
The Adventures of Tin Tin [2011]
The Adventures of Tin Tin: Prisoners of the Sun [2013]
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 [2012]
Constantine 2 [2012]
Enchanted 2  [2015]
Rec 3: Genesis [2012]
Madagascar III  [2012]
The Bourne Legacy  [2012]
Snow White [2012]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [2014]
The Expendables 2 [2012]
The Ring 3D  [2012]
Underworld: Awakening  [2012]
Wanted 2 [2012]
Zoolander 2 [2014]
Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Sea Monsters  [2012]
28 Months Later [2013]
Piranha 3DD  [2011]
I, Robot 2 [2015]
The Blair Witch Project 3 [2013]
Sin City 2 [2013]
Avatar 2 [2014]
Avatar 3 [2015]
The Muppets [2011]
Kill Bill Vol. III  [2014]
Alien: Prometheus [2012]
Ice Age: Continental Shift [2012]
Mad Max: Fury Road [2013]
Hancock 2 [2013]
Independence Day 2 [2013]
Top Gun 2 [2013]
How To Train Your Dragon 2 [2014]
Pirates of the Caribbean 5 [2013]
Pirates of the Caribbean 6 [2014]
Terminator 5 [2013]
Jurassic Park IV: Extinction [2015]
Scream 5 [2012]
Scream 6 [2013]
Daredevil [2013]


The Best Horror Movies I’ve Ever Seen

Getting spooked and thrilled is probably one of the easiest reactions to get out of a movie experience. That’s why the horror genre have survived and evolved through the years. Horror movies are like good roller coaster rides. It’s important that it hits all the right spots, near death experiences, twists and turns, they all count. Some movies are pure fun & excitement. Some movies are original an unique in its experience. Some movies are downright gory but a blast to watch altogether. Then there are some that are just truly truly disturbing…



THE SHINING

It’s got: The genius that is Stanley Kubrick, a jaw-dropping performance by Jack Nicholson and 2 little girls you don’t wanna see in the hallway.


THE EXORCIST

It’s got: William Friedkin–what a name, Linda Blair and green pea soup.

PSYCHO
It’s got: The greatest death scene ever filmed and a solid thriller that begins right after.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
It’s got: Wes Craven and oh that can’t be, no it IS young Johnny Depp.

HALLOWEEN
It’s got: ‘The guy in the white mask who stalks baby sitters’, John Carpenter, Jamie Lee Curtis and that theme song.

ALIENS
It’s got: James Cameron, a ‘get away from her you b!tch’ Sigourney Weaver and like the title suggests, big lizards.

POLTERGEIST
It’s got: A clown. A buzzing TV. A little girl. A pool of skeletons. A lot of fun.


SCREAM

It’s got: Wes Craven, Kevin Williamson’s script, fresh face Neve Campbell and the very cold nipples of Rose McGowan before she dies a horrible painful death.

CHILD’S PLAY
It’s got: Chucky The Doll That You’ll Remember For Life

THE SIXTH SENSE
It’s got: M.Night Shyamalan, Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osmond and a vomiting little b!tch that scared the sh!t outta me.

THE OTHERS
It’s got: Nicole Kidman and very loud noises.

THE VILLAGE
It’s got: Great music by James Newton Howard, a touch of M.Night Shyamalan, a blind Bryce Dallas Howard, a crazy Adrien Brody and some trees.

THE DESCENT
It’s got: Neil Marshall and a bunch of chicks in a cave infested with a bunch of dudes from the 1st century (not cute).

OPEN WATER
It’s got: sharks.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
It’s got: Jennifer Tits Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Philippe, Freddie P Jr. and the whole film smells like fish.

URBAN LEGEND
It’s got: Tara Reid screaming …alot

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
It’s got: Some sc’rry sh!t happen to white folks wit a camera on.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
It’s got: Some sc’rry sh!t happen to white folks when they go out into the woods wit a camera on.

TRICK R’ TREAT
It’s got: Anna Paquin as a werewolf and sackboy from The Orphanage!

THE ORPHANAGE
It’s got: Guillermo Del Toro and a very creepy sackboy that just walks behind you.

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
It’s got: Buffalo Bill & Hannibal Lector… yes. that’s all I’m gonna say.

SAW
It’s got: Only 1 saw in the film.

SE7EN
It’s got: Brad Pitt making a big mistake and Gwyneth Paltrow waiting in a bag.

DAWN OF THE DEAD
It’s got: The original impressed.

MARTYRS
It’s got: An overlong torture scene but excellent shock sequences before it.

HIGH TENSION
It’s got: 2 Lesbians and a bear.

THE RING
It’s got: A videotape, blue-ish washed out cinematography and a 3D climax ahead of its time.

JU-ON:THE GRUDGE
It’s got: Title cards inbetween death scenes and a lot of white facial powder instead of blood.

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS
It’s got: A fantastic movie poster, haunting music and a trail of blood leading to a large rice sack.

4BIA 2
It’s got: 5 shortfilms, all unique, scary and funny in their own way.

THE EYE
It’s got: You looking behind..alot.

SHUTTER
It’s got: Ghosts in your photographs and a transvestite holding your toilet paper.

AUDITION
It’s got: Needles…alot of needles. In places you really don’t want them in.

INSIDE
It’s got: A crazy lady, A crying pregnant lady, a pair of scissors, a cop, another guy with the cop, I think there’s another cop, and yes, lots of blood. Lots and lots of blood…

HOSTEL
It’s got: A chinese lady that prefers to get smashed by a train rather than living with just one eye.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES
It’s got: Vengeful mutants and not in the professor X way.

REC*
It’s got: Spanish people turning into zombies within a small environment.

QUARANTINE
It’s got: The same sh!t from REC*, except now, they’re american!

CLOVERFIELD
It’s got: Liberty.

DRAG ME TO HELL
It’s got: The gypsy that Borat’s been warning us all about.

THE SKELETON KEY
It’s got: Nothing to do with keys.

DAYBREAKERS
It’s got: A sci-fi twist to the vampire story.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE
It’s got: Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonia Bandares. Young Kirsten Dunst and a great script. enough said.

1408
It’s got: Silent Hill marrying The Shining and I have to warn you about that crazy old woman that jumps outta you in an early scene, believe me, you’ll remember my post after you watch it.

THE AMITTYVILLE HORROR
It’s got: A demon possessed set of abs by Ryan Reynolds

ORPHAN
It’s got: Lil’ bitch here’s got a secret.

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
It’s got: A very unnerving film experience prepared for you.

28 DAYS LATER
It’s got:..if you pause it just right, Cillian Murphy’s penis. Oh there’s alot of rage-like zombies here and raw suspense to go along too.

WHAT LIES BENEATH
It’s got: An intense scene in the bathtub…

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
It’s got: Killers getting killed

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE
It’s got: A court case

FINAL DESTINATION (1,2,3,5)
It’s got: Teenagers dropping dead in creative ways.

FROM HELL
It’s got: Jack the Ripper, gothic London, Johnny Depp and the heart of Heather Graham.

THE MIST
It’s got: The Westboro Baptist Church in their first hollywood film appearance.

SILENT HILL
It’s got: The same music from the games and excellent visuals.

RESIDENT EVIL
It’s got: Bad makeup and SFX but Milla in red, Michelle getting red, Marilyn Manson on the soundtrack and an eerie laboratory atmosphere.

VALENTINE
It’s got: Denise Richards dying in a hot tub.

HOUSE OF WAX
It’s got: Paris Hilton giving head to a pole.

WRONG TURN
It’s got: Eliza Dushku, the freaks from The Hills Have Eyes and some really good death scenes.

THE HOST
It’s got: A barbequed cuttlefish with only 9 legs.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
It’s got: An androgynous vampire and a hypnotic pace.

SLEEPY HOLLOW
It’s got: Tim Burton doing horror and a very disturbing scene involving a little boy and his parents–horrified me as a kid.

PLANET TERROR
It’s got: Rose McGowan with a machine gun leg and a dude that collects testicles from his victims.

THE CRAZIES
It’s got: Many people dying but only 1 funeral.

THE STRANGERS
It’s got: Liv Tyler screaming in agony.

INSIDIOUS
It’s got: Darth Maul in some of the biggest shocks you’ll ever get from a horror movie.

…and that should be about right.
My list is still growing everyday.
How many have you seen?


Britney You’re Holding Back..

Britney has made some of the memorable, coolest and sexiest videos ever. Think I’m A Slave 4 U (that pink outer thong oh gosh, really sweaty video), Overprotected (both versions were breathtaking), Baby One More Time (classic), Oops! I Did It Again (cheesy but we all know the choreography and remember those pyro shots, ooh that red catsuit), Toxic (it came on right in the middle of my puberty, you know how it hit me and 20 million other growing teens), Me Against The Music (a marriage of pop and that maze gee), Womanizer (that sauna opening had woman clutching their chest and the eye balls and balls of men popping).


Britney has also recently had some rather memorable videos that no matter how hard you wanna shake em off for being so terrible, you just can’t and you end up loving it! Like Gimme More (seriously. her best dance record ever and she’s got a wig on walking around the pole, like you can actually count the twirls), My Prerogative (basically an outtake from a sex tape she once shot in Kevin Federline’s boudoir), Piece of Me (it was a fun video that didn’t deserve that MTV award), 3 (oh no the pole has returned, which she does work better but no).

Then…

After a dozen teasers and visual promises that the Britney Spears video for Hold it Against Me, her first single from her new album, was gonna be spectacular. I jumped at the premiere. Rushed onto Youtube. Laid back and.. pressed play.

I paused the video midway through and started again. I was just.. so distracted by the advertisements. I thought the perfume ad in Circus was pretty cute, it didn’t get in the way of the video itself. Hey I embraced Gaga’s Telephone and thought the advertisements were pretty random but yeah I was cool with it. But in this video, the song is going hard and fierce. But I see a make-up kit in my face! Then a perfume bottle! Then Britney’s surrounded by a bunch of LCD screens with all her music videos flashing (great! I love homages) but before I can get into it, a friggin SONY logo shows up!

Okay so I watch a little further and I’m… awaiting the dance sequence that was promised by her choreographer (who bit his lip and agreed that Britney could’ve given us alot more in her recent videos) but no… the dance sequence didn’t show up. Now I know Britney can STILL dance, hell yes. If you watch the Making of Circus, you’ll see the full break-it-down choreography in the music video and she does it amazingly well. Though the editor did cutaways to a friggin elephant in the room, it was apparent that Britney can still dance. But NOT in this video! Britney’s… she’s holding back.

Then I reach my favorite part of the song, which yes, is my favorite part of the music video. The break-it-down beat begins, it’s extended, it’s got sound effects, it’s ferocious. Paint streams out of Britney and she tumbles to the ground. It’s gorgeous… but wait ANOTHER SONY LOGO SHOWS UP. I blink fast. She’s fighting herself like Madonna in Die Another Day, excellent, let’s see a catfight. The cutaway to her heels clogging away was hilarious, great timing. Then BOOM pyro, confetti, more crazy flashes and outfits and silhouette shots of Britney shifting her hips an inch, another hair flip. This is what… Glee called, Hairography, something Britney has resorted to doing alot these days.

Okay. I’m just gonna sum this up for you guys. I love BRITNEY SPEARS. I don’t care about her vocals. She’s one of the most iconic pop artistes of our time. She makes great dance records. She’s fixed in our pop history. I love her whispery nasal tone too. But… HOLD IT AGAINST ME:The Music Video, is a showcase of.. how hard everyone. else. worked.

The crew set all that up. The paint. The Pyro. The mecha. The choreography. The extended video mix. The dancers had great expression. Everyone worked so hard… and it felt as if BRITNEY was, just like a bottle of perfume, a product that showed up and posed left and right for closeups. Heck, that SONY logo worked it harder than Britney.

 

I want… Britney The Human. Britney The Woman. Britney Moves So Fast Britney Like Wtf. Britney It’s Britney Bitch Britney. Not… Britney the Barbie Doll.

They even had a friggin meteor at the start of the film, but no it won’t take my mind off how much my eyes.. ought to be.. on BRITNEY SPEARS. She isn’t the star of the video, her crew is.

When the Haus of Gaga work, they work their butts off and it shows it pays off. But when Gaga goes on set, she works 20 times harder. Janet Jackson is 44, and even live on stage, she works her butt harder than her dancer counterparts almost half her age.

I will embrace Britney’s new album. I will go get it. I will choreograph moves to it. I will sing it. I will honor Britney. But as of now, Britney isn’t.. visual to me. She sounds engineered perfectly in her album. She’s photoshopped perfectly in her shoots. Britney in motion.. is in a coma to me. I really want Britney back. I really wanna see her own a stage like.. dont get mad at me PLEASE go watch ANY of her earlier performances. She’s the fuckin’ queen on stage. I honestly think Blackout and her recent albums are much better than her early stuff, but back then, she put in alot more effort and was more particular about attention to detail and sculpting her career right.

This… is her video for Hold It Against Me.  I really hope you understand the point I tried making in this review. I really hope you.. get what I’m saying here. On a lighter note, Britney this video is much much better than 3, If U Seek Amy and that dreadful Break The Ice video and yes, you look stunning in the video.


Ms Jackson If You Nasty

IT STARTED FROM DOIN’ A LITTLE DANCE

Anybody that knows me personally, or has been bout 3 metres of radius round me, would know… that I love me some Janet. Mm Mm.

But what you don’t really know… is the true why.

Like any kind of love. It’s a layered cake, a path that shapes over time.

Back in Primary School, when I was a short, chubby, curly-haired scout of honor. I’d pass around the ‘Doesn’t Really Matter‘ CD single around class and we’d just sing that all recess long. I remember discovering ‘All For You‘ in a CD stash once and went crazy over it. ‘Together Again‘ was a viral video on MTV back then in 1996. I’ll always remember watching the red head Janet (hi Rihanna 2011) in the desert dancing in the wilderness.

In Secondary School, my first big crush was this girl named D. See I was so crazy over her, I’d make sure we had the same classes, I’d have my index number be an even from her’s so I’d sit around her! Haha. I even joined Dance (ballet eugh) because of her. Back then, I never ever ever ever, danced.

So in 2004, after the superbowl, DamitaJo, was released in stores. I got out, got my copy because I knew everyone was gonna be talkin’ bout it. I figured every hot song is gonna be spawned from this album–gosh reminisce the good ole anticipation days when compact discs were relevant. Instead the opposite happened. As months past, the record just slyed through unknown to radio and the public. ‘Just A Little While‘ was a single for a bit, the only track I played off the album. See I used to only buy albums for 1 or 2 songs, that stupid misconception alot of us listeners do. Then, I never knew how to appreciate complete albums for what they were. My Damitajo CD slipped through the cracks and gathered dust over time, I lent it to a couple of people around, can’t remember who it ended up with but… I wasn’t that big a Janet fan anyway right?

One thursday afternoon at assembly, D got on stage with her dance group and performed. It was a sexy routine, lots of tight choreography it was… unforgettable for a 14 year old adolescent who was midway through puberty. I rushed to my dance teacher to ask what song it was, to which he replied, “It’s Janet! Remember that album you lent me last month? It’s track 10, All Nite (Dont Stop)

“Keep the album”, coz I ran out and got another copy =)

I’m the kind of music lover that, back tracks alot when I start to fall in love with an artiste. I’ll get everything from the past, do tons of research, listen to radio interviews from early recordings, magazine articles, photoshoots, merchandise, just every damn piece of knowledge to help me validate, why an artiste is an icon today.

That’s what I did for Madonna, Michael Jackson, Björk, and that was what I did… with Janet Jackson. I knew she was an Icon, she received that first MTV title back in 2001. But I had to really know her music, videos and everything.

I invested in her compilation DVDs, From ‘janet to Damitajo‘ and ‘Design of a Decade’. Every day I’d watch a new music video, a live performance and memorize the songs.

I started… dancing. I started following her moves, remembering her choreography, I started manipulating the steps, re-choreographing it, to teach my school mates. We started mini-dance groups and performed in school, once in Hong Kong, once in Cambodia. Call me a psycho fan of Janet, but I’m really a different kind. I take what she’s got and let it inspire me, put it work. You know, that’s the way I believe, every true fan ought to work. Dance groups were formed after I listened to Janet. Songs were written. Sets were designed. Costumes were influenced in design. I stood strong as her 20.Yo and Discipline albums got heat from critics and sales charts. Every song she’s got, hits me at a particular point in my life and it’s inspired my own writing and the way I perform.

WHY CANT I BRING IN MY DAMN CAMERA?!

After all these years of thinkin, Janet’s not gonna come to Singapore, I got a text message from (of all people) my ex. It was a simple message cause if you’ve dated me, you would’ve sat through at least, 2 hours of me playing Janet music videos for you. So I received a text…

‘hey josh, thought you should know erm… Janet Jackson is coming to Singapore”

I was.. in church camp on that day, in service. And I… squealed. Ran out of the worship hall. Texted every body I knew who of course replied with “josh your dream is coming true” and… I blacked out for a bit. I think I remember the entire janet music catalogue suddenly play through my head like a dj working a jukebox.

Janet, here I come

TOGETHER…FINALLY

A month before the tour, my bestfriends voted for me in this exclusive Janet contest where nominees from each country, gets to meet Janet Jackson in person and share their stories with her. In advance, my friends who nominated me, wrote articles about how ambitious I am in music and yada, but I wasn’t… selected. I never received no email.

Oh well, I got my seats, the most expensive ticket could only buy me 25 rows back from the front (the entire front was blocked off for our beloved media company in Singapore you know what management but oh well be thankful). I showed up with a fairly odd crowd that became while waiting for the doors to open outside.

It was… A Black Girl From Jersey. A Crazy Chinese Girl Fan. A Drag Queen. and me.

We were so nutso bout Janet that, her bodyguard came out, (he loved us btw) gave me extra tickets (so I rushed my dancer Zef down for the show) and took out a videophone and had us shoot a message for Janet. I sang Feedback over the video =)

Inside the theater, I was the middle guy on the floor and I’d pass written messages each of us were sending to each other since we were all separated. All this happening while Nicki Minaj’s Moment 4 Life plays.

The show began… and Janet was… gosh it still hasn’t hit me that, I was at a JANET JACKSON CONCERT. Till now it hasn’t hit me. I was so sweaty after the show, I moved non-stop to EVERY beat during the 1.45 minute show. I stood up, krumped, gyrated, grinded my seat, did the choreos, did the pops and janet hand gestures, everything. I was livin’ on adrenaline.

After the show, we waited outside the parking lot and I had time freeze for a second as Janet rolled down the window and waved at us… got home at 4am, headed to army camp at 6am =) I was not one bit tired, but I did lose my voice from all the screaming along.

WHO YOU CALLIN CHUNKY?

The next day, I found my little quote on The New Paper, defending Janet from a bitch reporter who had it comin’. Callin’ my girl thick and older, heck she used the word ‘chunky!’. Honestly, I know Janet yo-yos but she looked stunning. She lost alot more weight and looked better here than even the Rock Witchu Tour! So this article was just… uncreative for me. Cue the Janet fan to the rescue.

I also found out that… I WAS… selected to meet Janet Jackson. My nomination pulled through and I got picked!… but see… had I checked my email the night before, I wouldn’t be in the damn parking lot!….so oh well… Janet flew off to Jakarta and I had to… remind myself that… I ought to be thankful =) just be thankful

This is NOT the first time this sh!t’s happen though. One time I got selected to INTERVIEW LADY GAGA… but I was in class so I couldn’t pick up my phone. Opportunity flew out the damn window… sigh but this I know. I ought to remind myself to keep working hard for the music Im making… someday Joshua Simon gonna meet Lady Gaga and Janet Jackson and say… “FINALLY”

oh yeah…

During the tour, I got to meet UTT! and I ..melted when he went “how’s the music coming along?” =)


When Zombies, Soldier Ghouls & Devils Meet


RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE

7/10

Being a huge fan of the RESIDENT EVIL franchise, from the video games to the movies, this blockbuster hit me like an adrenaline shot. T-Virus in 3D, here I come.
Resident Evil 4: Afterlife is absolutely… retarded in every aspect. The first 15 minutes of the movie will make the Wachowski Brothers commit suicide over & over again (in slow motion of course). Most of the movie is borrowed material from the Resident Evil 5 game (which is the most successful unit of the series, so why not). The girls are hotter and more impossible to believe, the zombies run faster but they also die faster, the bosses are more elaborate, the set designs are breathtaking (with its last quarter similar to the visuals of Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance) and the budget is much higher than ever before (did you know that the box-office results actually increase with each installment, very rare for sequels)
!ENOUGH!
I loved it. I had a blast watching it. I just have this film fetish for girls that kick ass. I watched CATWOMAN about 45 times (well aware of how atrocious the kitty litter was). CHARLIE’S ANGELS, LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER, UNDERWORLD, DEAD OR ALIVE:DOA, were all excellent pieces of cinema in the opinion of my testosterone. Resident Evil: Afterlife is the most refreshing of all the movies, it’s beautiful to watch in 3-D, it’s so ridiculous that you’ll just start to love it. Come on, were you expecting George A.Romero material in this movie franchise? No, this shit’s Paul. W Anderson & Milla Jovovich.
It’s expensive fun, but fun nonetheless.


Haunted Changi

7/10

Every year I pick about 2 horror films that ace in either being absolutely terrifying, or fiendishly entertaining. I’m a huge horror film buff and boy was I blown away by HAUNTED CHANGI. It definitely pays good homage to some of my favorite 1st person seaters (Paranormal Activity, Cloverfield, Rec, The Blair Witch Project), but what it brings new to the table is the filmo-photography aspect to its editing which basically glorifies the central character of this movie–the Old Changi Hospital itself, making it one of the most formidable onscreen characters in Singapore Film History.

My biggest worry about the narrative, was that the crew-crew behind this movie wouldn’t know how to utilize effective scares to carry this horror film from scene to scene. Now that’s where I was surprised the most and of course, leading to the most rewarding aspect of watching this movie. I was spooked. I literally had me turning around to avoid some sticky presence around me that seemed to enjoy popcorn watching this movie with me. Why? Apart from our beautiful “Silent Hill“ish nightmare hospital that by scene 4 we were immersed in, the claustrophobia and paranoia in this film made me shiver.
!ENOUGH!
I gave this movie 7 is for how strong Team Haunted Changi and its fans are going at it since its marketing. You guys have fought so hard and like many Singaporeans that are just anticipating a fall and failure of their own products, I was wrong. I would love to bash this film up like I do everytime I give Jack Neo a chance, but this movie knocked the wind out of me. Singapore before you slam another good film, take a step back and realize how you’re not contributing AT ALL. Japan & Korea started out step by step to get to where they are, so now crushing your own industry and complaining about it, is digging your own filmograve.
I just heard the Old Changi Hospital site is now officially locked off.
Don’t let your own movie industry be the next thing sealed off.


DEVIL
6.5/10

M. Night Shyamalan is one of my favorite directors. He’s got films in his belt that will stay with us throughout history (The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable). He’s made movies that everybody’s seen & hate, but I love (The Village, Signs, Lady In The Water). And he’s also made movies that have made you wanna pick up a fork and jab him between the eyes with (The Happening, The Last Airbender). Love him or hate him, you’ve paid good money to watch his work.
Here comes DEVIL, the return of Shyamalan to the job he does best (don’t look at me Dev Patel), a citrus twist and queasy suspense. Though M.Night decided to take a vacay and leave another to direct, his presence is easily felt throughout the movie.
Just like the constant blackouts that occurr in the elevator, we’re left with very little time to connect with our characters. In other words, we don’t know who’s gonna die next, and we don’t really care who’s gonna die next. The film gets a tad preachy and melodramatic with our protagonist constantly revisiting the passing of his wife and kid which haunts him.
!ENOUGH!
The characters aren’t pretty but they make up for it with their elaborate death scenes. This film succeeds in its shock-value, it’s full of it. If you’re looking for a very uncomfortable after-experience when you take your elevator home, this movie is for you.